Guys are right, we are crazy!

Dear God, ladies, do I love you, but oh do I hate working with you!  The scary part is that I’m sure they say the same thing about me.  But I’ve realized that this tiff only lasts for so long.  It’s our trial period before  reaching acceptance.  And I’ve also noticed that it only happens with other women. When new men come into the game, it’s merely considered an eye-candy score, but when it’s a woman…well, that’s a different story.

First of all, if anyone has perfected the ‘fake-voice-because-I’m-trying-to-be-nice-to-you’ voice, IT’S ME.  I know every lioness uses it when they first meet the other lioness. Sure, the two felines will probably end up loving each other and going to Chardonnay’s for martinis in 3 weeks, but for now, this is how it’s going to be.

So, why do we do it, girls?  Why must we hate any new meat that comes into our territory? Are they a threat? Are they possibly better than us? Or are they just thinner and prettier and we don’t like it?

I’ve been pondering this for years because perhaps it’s just me! I grew up as a tom-boy with all boys for neighbors.  The majority of my friends today are still males. Am I just being a hater?…But then I started getting a few girlfriends over the past couple years and it only took one night together to make it all clear to me:

Women hate women that they don’t know.

It’s what we do best. Whether it’s a girl walking by us on the sidewalk whose skirt is too high, or the girl at work who stares at people for a split second too long, the piranhas are ready to bite.  When in all actuality, we only hate short-skirt girl because her legs are GORGEOUS and we only hate the eye-locker because it makes her a better flirt.  And women that pass me probably hate me because of my ravishingly-good looks. It’ll be okay, you’re pretty too, I suppose.

But then you get to know them! A woman becomes part of your life, for any reason, be it work, school, the gym, a friend’s friend, and then after our “trial period” of all the hating behind closed doors, you end up liking her. Then you become friends and you hate on the other women you don’t know! Never-ending cycle.

So comes the reason for the title, “Guys are right, we are crazy!” Ladies, you know the 3-week process of hating someone just to become their friend is real.  If you think you don’t play mind games, you need a reality check. I was in denial once. Ahh, the memories. But trust me, crazy women are not just for Maury or Tyra; do you or do you not do one of the following:

  • Say that you’re “fine” when really you’re so pissed you could punch a puppy in the face.
  • Get introduced to someone and smile and laugh and when you walk away you tell your boyfriend “Oh my God, I hate her.”
  • When you get in a fight with someone you post some scarily-relatable lyrics on your Twitter about it, but by the time you see that person, you’re over it and act like nothing happened. (My Twitter!)
  • Start an argument about nothing just because you feel angry today. And then you just give up half-way because you also feel lazy.
  • Freak out when a guy blames your mood on your period…it is your period, love. That’s what it does.
  • Begin to yell in your house because someone misplaced something of yours and then you find it where you left it.

Guiltyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, guys, after hanging with you for my whole life so far, I feel ya. Just don’t expect any of this to stop. And ladies, let’s own up to it. Let’s embrace it. And then go back to ignoring it later…and yes, I still hate you all. Kisses!

p.s. To hear about my latest run-in with Planet Fitness, check out my cousin’s blog! PF is evil. Remember that.

Alessandra (the feminist with a fishing pole)

Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. lindseyhudson24
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 15:32:23

    You better not be going to Chardonnay’s for martinis without me miss. =)

%d bloggers like this: